November 24, 2008

Want a new vagina for Christmas?

Posted in Life tagged , , , , , , , , at 2:16 pm by pmatos

First, if you really came here because you really want a new vagina for Christmas, let me start by telling you how hypocrite you are! So, you want a new vagina for the celebration of the birth of your Lord Jesus Christ that should supposedly teach you how to be humble and love yourself like you were made?

For all the others just interested on what I have to say regarding vaginae [yes, this seems to be the plural of ‘vagina’] and Christmas, move on! :)

The number of labiaplasties seemed to have doubled in the UK between 2002 and 2007. Protesters are already doing their job and you can also get some statistics there so let me avoid the statistics and go straight to the subject at hand.

Nowadays, women seem to get shallower and shallower (not in the vaginal sense)! It’s the ginourmous heels, the practically naked standard of dressing, the excessive makeup, the false lips, the false boobs, the false bum… Now they also have false vaginae???

Come on, you must be kidding me! Obviously you can say that it’s your body and you can do whatever you want with it but note that doing whatever you want goes both ways. If women prefer heels to comfortable shoes, excessive makeup instead of their natural clean selves, botox lips instead of their own, silicone boobs instead of their natural ones, etc, etc… I have the right to tell them straight in the face how idiots they are! They prefer to change themselves, even when there’s the risk of damage. Among all the changes there’s risk of facial paralysis, scaring, loss of feeling, pain, bone damage, etc. Fewer and fewer women seem to favour their own personalities, trying instead to use a mask to look better. But what’s better? Women like this tend to get the kind of attention from a very specific male type. And often they get what they asked for and they rarely find an happy ending, but still… they move forward trying to find ways to improve. Well, I thought it would never get to the point of labiaplasties, but it seems I was wrong!

Note, however, that the case of labiaplasties seem different than most other issues, like high heels. Using high heels, even though it screws your feet and most likely provokes pain and uncomfortable walking, is known to be ‘fashionable’ and ‘sexy’ [although I disagree but that’s not the point]. High heels are seen by everybody. You want to look good and attract the attention of those around you. Now, with vaginal surgery, whose attention are you trying to attract? There are not many possibilities here… either you are a slut and you need to impress a man every night or you’re just trying to impress your boyfriend with a new vagina, but if your boyfriend loves you more, or even just supports your decision of undergoing a surgery to change your vagina because it might look better then he’s more of an idiot than you are… dump him… otherwise you risk losing him to a better vagina…

And remember, no matter how good your vagina is, there’s always a better one in the nearest corner! Remember : use your brain always and your vagina sometimes!



  1. You definitely should watch californication. It has addressed this issue in the first season :)

  2. pmatos said,

    Thanks for the recommendation, I will definitely order the first season soon!

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